Gilly’s House to Open March 1st

Steven “Gilly” Gillmeister lost his battle with addiction on October 24, 2016 at the age of 25.
For David and Barbara Gillmeister, the pain of losing their son to a drug overdose will never go away. Seeking a way to honor his memory, the Wrentham couple channeled their grief into action by establishing a non-profit in Steven’s name.
Gilly’s House, a sober home for those in recovery from substance abuse, is slated to open on March 1. The house, the former Sheldonville Nursing Home, will provide a comprehensive life skills transitional program for young men who have successfully completed a residential treatment program.
Steven Gillmeister was, by all accounts, a typical American teenager. He had many friends, and enjoyed helping people and making them laugh. He seemed, at least on the outside, a very happy person, said his mother.
Steven’s road to addiction started with marijuana.
“Anybody who thinks this is not a gateway drug is really fooling themselves,” said Barbara Gillmeister.
Steven entered several residential treatment programs around the country, but it was only when he entered a sober house in Portland, Maine, that his life started to get back on track.
“He felt successful there, he felt comfortable there,” said his mother. “It was supportive, structured, and a good place to be. And it was really the only place he was able to maintain sobriety.”
Sober living homes are transitional residences for individuals who have completed residential treatment programs, but need more time to learn coping methods before returning to a productive life. A sober living home can be the bridge to long-term recovery and success.
“Rehabilitation programs can be short stints, depending on your insurance,” said Gillmeister. “Maybe you get 90 days for treatment, and then where do you go from there? What you really need to do is go to a sober house. That’s the next step. That should be the last step.”
Addiction specialists agree that the longer an individual stays in a sober living home, the better the odds of long-term recovery. Barbara Gillmeister believes her son did not give himself enough time in the Portland sober house. With the optimism of youth, he left the sober home after a short six month stay. He relapsed soon after.
Gilly’s House will help young men learn the skills to reenter and become productive members of society.
“If someone is 25, but started using at age 17, he hasn’t had the chance to develop the skills his peers have developed,” explained Barbara Gillmeister. “He could have his sobriety in check, but if he doesn’t have the skills to function in society, he’s not going to be successful and will relapse and soon find himself right back in the same place.”
Gilly’s House, with room for 22 residents, will teach cooking, financial literacy, resume writing, job interview skills, and more. Healthy living strategies like yoga, journaling, and fitness will accompany therapy, counseling, and support group meetings. The house will be steeped in AA programming.
Residents will be required to perform community service, and attend school or work for 30 hours a week.
The young men will be subject to random drug tests, and the home will be staffed with house managers, providing 24-hour-a-day oversight. There will be a zero-tolerance policy in place, and all residents will sign a contract agreeing to the house rules and procedures.
The MA Alliance for Sober Housing (MASH) is a voluntary certification program that sets standards for sober living homes. Barbara Gillmeister, who has a Master’s degree in Education, has participated in MASH training, and Gilly’s House is seeking certification. Her goal, she says, is for Gilly’s House to set the gold standard for sober living homes.
“I want to be proud of this,” said Gillmeister. “It’s in my neighborhood. It has my name on it. It has my son’s name on it.”
The Gillmeisters are determined that Gilly’s House will be as home-like as possible for these young men. They are furnishing the house through donations of new and gently-used items, and will stock it with household goods through registries set up at Bed, Bath and Beyond, as well as Target.
Volunteers will help clean the building, strip the wallpaper, and paint the rooms. A brand-new kitchen will be installed, to replace the institutional kitchen on site.
“We want it to be beautiful aesthetically, spiritually, and emotionally for the people who are here,” said Barbara. “People who are substance abusers have, for whatever reason, amazingly low self-esteem. We want them to come here and feel,’ oh wow, somebody really cares, that I’m worth it.’ We want Gilly’s House to be an uplifting place.”
Since their son’s death, the Gillmeisters have become active in the S.A.F.E. Coalition of Franklin, an alliance of community partners who have joined together to provide support, education, treatment options, and coping mechanisms for people affected by substance abuse disorder.
The couple has visited numerous sober homes and modeled Gilly’s House on the most successful. The Board of Directors for the home consists of a panel of experts in all facets of addiction recovery.
The Gillmeisters credit the support of Rep. Jeffrey N. Roy (D-Franklin), and Rep. Shawn Dooley (R-Norfolk), along with the S.A.F.E. Coalition, for helping them get the project off the ground. Both state representatives acknowledge fighting the drug crisis is a complex problem, and sober homes provide an important function for people on the road to recovery.
“Finding a sober living environment in our area of the state has been challenging because they simply don’t exist,” said Rep. Roy. “Gilly’s House will close that gap in our region, and will offer an opportunity for area residents suffering from substance use disorder to make that transition from treatment back into society closer to friends, family or place of employment. Sober homes allow those in recovery to share housing expenses, get access to services, and unite with others on the journey and help develop the positive life skills necessary to succeed. And most importantly, sober homes are an important part of our efforts to save lives.”
Rep. Dooley added, “The reality is that the battle against the opiate epidemic must truly be a multi-pronged approach. Studies show that the first year of recovery is the most important and sober houses provide the focus, support, and community needed for a person who has recently left rehab to have the greatest opportunity for success.”
The Gillmeisters said Gilly’s House, financed with a mortgage from Milford National Bank, will accept young men from anywhere, not just the immediate area, because the need is so great.
“My hope is that we can help save other parents from going through the pain that my husband and I have gone through, and continue to go through,” said Barbara.
She also believes this is what Steven would have wanted her to do. “I have met some amazing people during this process. Whenever a need arises, someone seems to step up. A lot of things have happened for a reason. I do feel like a hand is pushing me forward.”
Soon after Steven passed away, one of his childhood friends shared a memory with Barbara Gillmeister. When the boys were young, they would often walk past the shuttered Sheldonville Nursing Home on their way to play at each other’s houses. Steven and his friend would gaze at the building, and say to each other, “If we have a lot of money someday, let’s buy that place. Just imagine what we can do with it.”
For more information about Gilly’s House, or to donate items, services, or funds for scholarships and operating expenses, visit www.gillyshouse.com. Follow Gilly’s House on Facebook (www.facebook.com/gillyshouse) for updates.
Gilly’s House is also looking for community members willing to teach life skills and share their knowledge with the home’s residents. Contact Barbara Gillmeister at [email protected] if you can help.